The Epping Forest Festival ov Guerrilla Noise Nonsense

Cat Boi stood there in Loughton station, black suspect device bag full of noise making goodies, clasped between his feet, resplendent in a red trimmed rockabilly coat, and swirly psychedelic red shirt and a red leopard print tie and yes even red boots……people paraded past him wearing their RED poppies, but this was a coincidence, it may have been remembrance Sunday for many, but for this lord of the hedonist it was just another day in noisevember.

Before long he met up with supremely black clothed veterans of the international noise scene Tige Price and Alexandru Constantinescu, and together they sauntered off in search of the forest.
They discovered both the forest and the festival within not too long, a raven swept down, wings outstretched, marking the spot where it should be, and so it was.

The Epping forest festival ov guerrilla noise nonsense started as so many things do with the riffling through of plastic bags and the pronouncement of a decree to the effect that “poppies are useless, but could avoid being so if only they would allow themselves to be used to decapitate politicians”
…….at this juncture in the story it my be good to explain what this “festival” is…….though having heard the explanation myself I think that I may be stretching the meaning of the word “good”……

Apparently the idea behind the festival is that It should be exactly like Glastonbury, only it won’t be properly advertised (in keeping with its guerrilla nature) and the entire form of which it will take will be decided last minute by whatever Pimms swilling rascals happen to turn up…..
And that’s exactly what happened.

Alexandru primarily played an interesting drone creating phone app which can be heard quite a bit throughout, Cat Boi played a broken auto harp and various other bits and pieces, and Tige played various instruments but refused to touch any of the wind instruments or to have any Pimms, though he did eat a sandwich, a large fluffy white dog also came through at one point but we were unable to coax them into playing anything or even going Bork Bork, though Cat Boi can be heard opining that the dog had “done him a frighten”.

And the festival continued as such…

Temperamental hunting horns were honked at distant dog walkers, tin cans were used to play auto harps that were broken in such a manner as to make them really more of a zither, kazoos were stuck into other instruments, other instruments were stuck onto voice changers, small plastic pan pipes attempted through the use of bright stickers to convince us that they were in fact kazoos, and duels were had between oversized triangles and moderately sized recorders.

…..then as quickly as it started, it came to an end, the three noiseketeers went their separate ways, two to a fantastic event called dronica in an old church in stoke newington and one to a cafe, via a nightmarish hell journey going round and round in the vortex like far eastern loop of the central line.

But it was worth it!

“we have suffered for our art, now click the link, listen to the album and you too can suffer https://blackironkisses.bandcamp.com/album/epping-forest-festival-ov-guerrilla-noise-nonsense-lords-of-the-hedonist”” Cat Boi 13/11/16

This “story” was told to Phillip Raymond Goodman, events manager at Lords of the Hedonist
Who organized this event, for more information about this and other events please click on the link. https://www.facebook.com/Lords-of-the-Hedonist-291527314364493